Updated: Mar 14, 2022
Jealousy...oof. It's one of the stickier emotions & stirs everything from shame to rage for people.
Last week, we sat down with the hosts of ClitTalk, our favorite sex positive podcast, and got real about jealousy, compersion & everything in between.
First, lets define jealousy and compersion...
"To be jealous is to feel resentment, bitterness, or hostility toward someone because they have something that you don't."
"An empathetic state of happiness and joy experienced when another individual experiences happiness and joy."
Compersion was coined by the folks in the Polyamorous community to describe the feeling of joy one feels when they see their partner connecting romantically or physically with another person. This idea might sound a little alien to many of us, but it stretches far beyond romantic connection. It's the feeling you have when you see your best friend crushing it at work, it's the feeling you have when you see someone you love following their passions....it's joy for another's joy!
So, how do we get there?
First...jealousy isn't our enemy and it certainly isn't something that we can ignore. Jealousy is a feeling that arises to tell us that a need isn't being met or that our cup is empty. When we see someone with something that we've been desperately longing for, it brings up a pretty sticky feeling, and for good reason!
When we reframe our relationship to jealousy from
"I shouldn't be feeling this"
"Wow, I didn't realize I was so depleted there...it's time to spend some time taking care of myself"
We transform the energy and the outcome of this emotion.
As we create space for ourselves to get our needs met, practice patience with this emotion and prioritize our own wellbeing, pleasure and joy, it becomes easier to feel joy for another's joy.
Yes, it's really that simple & can also be incredibly hard at times. Want to learn more?
Head over to our feature on ClitTalk or request a consultation with us below: